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I cleaned as I could, but I could only do as much as my baby would allow. A load of laundry here, a sink of dishes there was all I could manage. Running the vacuum or scrubbing the toilet would have to wait. At some point in this madness, and possibly sensing no end to it, my husband told me at last that his love for me was gone entirely. That he was no longer attracted to me. That he felt resentful toward me. That I had changed too much. After a week of constant crying, of self harming for the first time in years, of sleeping on a palette of piled sheets and blankets in the nursery next to my baby’s crib, he came to me. He said he’d been wrong. He said he never meant a word, that he just needed to ‘get it out’. He had needed to see me hurting over him. We resumed. I began to put forth more effort. I truly believed that more effort on my part was really what was needed. I tried to lose the baby weight by denying myself rest after a long day of reading Peter Rabbit and Goodnight. ’ Sam reached for his bill and Lonnie took it saying, ‘This one’s on me.’ ‘Thanks, Lonnie, see you tomorrow night.’ Sam left and went in search of a liquor store so he could bring a bottle of Johnnie Walker Gold to Lonnie’s gathering. Chapter Two Sam found Lonnie’s house without too much trouble, and was greeted at the door by Megan. ‘Hi, I’m Sam, I hope Lonnie told you I was coming.’ ‘Hi Sam, I’m Megan, and yes he did. Please come in, I’m so glad you could make it.’ He handed her the bottle and said, ‘I noticed that Lonnie likes this. I hope you do too, or I’ll have to bring you something special another time.’ ‘No, this is very nice, thank you so much.’ Sam was introduced to the six other guests seated in the living room, and the group spent the next few hours having a little dinner and a lot of conversation. Miranda, one of Megan’s best friends, befriended Sam and they talked for quite awhile. The drinks flowed, and a couple of the guests plus Lonnie were pretty mellow by the.
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