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He was just plain ... mine."So ... you're gay. Okay, I can live with that. It's the 21st century. I just hadn't ever ... you know, met any gay guys who were as ... brazen about it, I suppose. Not in person," Louis, that was the cashier's name, explained to me, eager to take back his homophobic jest."Wow, you really are a closet case, aren't you?" I laughed as I took my receipt from him, making him blush before he tried to stammer out a denial, "and for the record, I'm bisexual, not gay. I like pussy, too. But yes, I also like dick ... and ass ... and mouth." Sorry ... I didn't mean to offend. Just don't say that kind of thing in public. I have a girlfriend. I'm an usher in a Pentecostal church. They're already not too pleased with where I work. I could go to Hell for such things, you know. I have to walk the straight and narrow," he stammered."Let me tell you something and make it quite clear to you. The only Hell to which you're going is the one where you already live. If you're gay. "To my contestants, I want you to know that you don't get any money, you failed to properly identify your relationship with any of the people in the pictures." I said.There was a lot of yelling and claims of cheating and going back on a deal.I put my hands up and laughed. "Ok, ok, you got me. I have to tell you a secret. The picture of the adult man next to the picture of the child is not who you said it is. IT IS YOUR FATHER! Inside of the envelope is the DNA testing evidence."It took me almost a year to gather all of the DNA of the suspected fathers."There is one that is not a father though." I said turning to grandpa: "You are not the father of your daughters."Suddenly all of the waiters started saying things like 'You are served" and I don't mean desert. There was a lot of yelling and screaming.My wife was served with a divorce action for adultery and a demand for return of community assets spent on another man's child. The fathers of William, Jane and Melissa were also served.
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