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It wasn’t really goodbye; they’d see each other all summer. Still, it was a long, warm kiss.“Marilyn!” It was Marilyn’s mom. He took his hands off her, in case her mom was looking as well as calling. Marilyn didn’t pull her arms from around his neck, although she did break the kiss to answer.“Yeah. Later. I’m busy now.” She went back to the kiss, and he cooperated to the extent of chasing her tongue with his. His heart wasn’t really in the kiss, though.“Is that Andy?” That did require an answer.“Yes, Mrs. Grant. Hello. I brought Marilyn home.”“Come upstairs now.” That clearly wasn’t directed at him. Well, the kiss had been nice while it lasted.“Love you,” he whispered.“I love you, too,” she said loudly. She’d said it before, and he believed she did, but this was for her mom to hear.At home, he used his key but gave the family’s two quick rings to let Mrs. Bryant know that someone else was in the house. She came out to greet him.“Andy! You hungry?”“Well, we stopped for lunch. Let me. I struggle to maintain my composure each and every minute of my day. A day that drags on and on and gets harder and harder to get through. Each day I wonder. Each day I tell myself. I tell myself that this it is for the best. That it can’t be any other way. It has to be this way and this way only. I try to explain it to myself. I try to understand it. I try to make peace with it. I try to convince my heart that the ache, the pain, the emptiness will go away. That there will be a ‘someone’ for me, a ‘someday’ for me. That there is the possibility, however remote, of a new beginning, a new start for my failed life. Each day I try. Each day I hope. I hope you are well. I hope you are OK. I hope that I am at least a passing thought in your day to day life now. I hope you remember the things we talked about. I hope that someday we can still be friends. Each day I think. Each day I cry. I cry for the love I had to give up. I cry for the longing I have in my heart. I cry for the future that.
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