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Here, now, I pull him into a closet and lock the door. I get on my knees and unfasten his tuxedo pants, struggling to reach the zipper under his ridiculous purple cummerbund. By this time the mother of the bride has gotten wind of what’s happening and she’s enlisted the help of the maid of honor to batter the goddamn door down before it’s too late. I smile to myself. My name is infamous to these people. The chastity guard are beating at the door as only two women determined to prevent the ultimate shaming of their beloved girl can. He begins to waver when what he thought was going to be a secret, just one final, farewell blow job from the psycho ex-girlfriend (funny how the psycho prefix is generally added as punishment for enjoying sex a little too much) is looking like it could become the ruin of the many relationships he has built with this woman in the process of merging of their lives into one. I quickly take the ‘situation’ in hand and ram it aggressively into my mouth, as far. Personally, I thought that two years of breast feeding was enough!Anyway, we were relaxing at our position when Sarah spotted a large rowboat pull out from the shore and head directly toward us. This could have been a purely innocent act, but I was not going to bet anything on that possibility—there were just too many men in that rowboat. I blew my warning whistle and was heard in the pilot house. Either the pilot or the captain used the main boat whistle to signal a warning, and the rest of our "marines" poured out onto deck with both their rifles and their shotguns. It was too late, now, to use the cannon, so those seven men had joined the other fighters at the side of the boat.The pirates might have gotten away if one of them had not pulled out his musket from hiding and fired it at us. I have no idea what he expected to accomplish, maybe it was the equivalent of the one-finger salute. My other two wives had shown up by now, so his shot was met by 24 rifle shots and three shotgun.
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