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Which all would have been spiffing and top hole if Albie hadn't gone and pointed out that they didn't have WhatsApp in 1940, that this was anachronistic and, persistent illusion or no persistent illusion, was a complete fuck up of a plot device. I'm a little sad to report, dear saddos, that I had myself a bit of a hissy fit, a teensy-weensy strop, with just a touch of huffy hysterics, and that maybe, just maybe, crockery shards and coffee dregs were sent skittering and splattering across the floor. When did everyone suddenly become a critic for The Literary Review? 'Unwieldy plot devices', 'no discernible story', 'unsexy and unbelievable', 'artsy, conceited, self-aggrandising, obnoxious shit'; and those are the publishable comments. Honestly, people! They're just some fun-sized, amateur erotica stories. They're not the translation committee text for The King James Bible or a draft wording for an all-encompassing Middle East Peace Accord.But I digress. None of this was really Albie's. After keying in my code, I hastily packed my items into a carrier bag. Fortunately, there was no shopper waiting, so our flirtatious badinage could go on for a little longer."I'm Mandy." She gave a subtle upward hand movement to the name badge displayed above her right breast. I wasn't sure whether she was showing me her badge or drawing attention to her ample bosom."So I see. May I say how striking your hair-do is?" Why thank you. I did it myself last night."Mandy's eye-catching coiffeur was in vivid magenta, stretched diagonally across her forehead, with purple and green highlights. I surmised from her pale wispy eyebrows that under all that bottled dye she was probably a blonde."Are you a natural blonde?"She pulled my card from the reader and with an angelic expression handed it back to me. "Maybe you'll find out later."Fuck! This young woman could flirt like Lauren Bacall.An old biddy had shuffled up and begun to laboriously unload a trolley-fulf of items onto the conveyor belt. I.
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