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The errant driver pulled over. I approached the driver, while Sandy casually approached from the car from the passenger side. Suddenly the driver and the passenger bolted from the car, each going in opposite directions.“Foot pursuit, need cover, 1300 Vargas street,” I yelled into my shoulder mike. Sandy took off after the passenger, while I went after the driver. It wasn’t much of a foot pursuit, because the kid couldn’t run very fast with his pants falling down around his knees. I managed to coral him after a mere block, flip him on to his back and cuff him.Sandy was not as lucky. Her guy managed to get away. One of the other patrol units was assigned to take the juvenile to the juvie jail. Our sergeant wanted to keep us on the streets and let the rookies do the jail hauls. We went out of service to complete out reports, sitting in a vacant parking lot.“You’re getting old,” I told Sandy. “Maybe it’s time for school patrol.”Sandy did not like to be told she was getting old. The truth. A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point passing briefly through Minneapolis.Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough, reassuring and patient manner.I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BEHIND!'I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for a product called 'MoviPrep, ' which comes in a box large enough to hold a microwave oven. I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America's enemies.I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation. In accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all I had was chicken broth, which is basically.
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