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Miranda was young, energetic, sexy and cuddly in all the right ways, but even in the body of an eighteen-year-old, I was, in my head, in my fifties. Columba appealed to the old guy in me, while Miranda got my teenage engine running.The combination just might kill me.All the worrying and wondering was for naught, because Columba came to me in the hour before bedtime and asked, "David, did you and Miranda come to any agreement where I am concerned?"I smiled as my arms went around her, and kissed her like anxious newlyweds kiss on the way from the reception to the wedding night. We enjoyed kissing the way other couples might enjoy mutual masturbation. It was that erotic.When I felt that she was fully and properly kissed, I asked, "What would Joseph say if I violated his hospitality this way?"Columba sort of huffed, sort of snorted, and sort of smiled – all at the same time. "Joseph is, for the most part, asexual, David. He doesn't like sex. We HAD sex for the purpose of getting me. We’ve been the best of friends since primary school and you can count on one hand the amount of times that I have ever won an argument with her.“Look, you got dumped. I get that. It sucks, we’ve all been there. But, you can’t stay at home forever. You need to get out and meet people. Hell, if you leave it much longer, you’ll have forgotten how to do sex!”I burst out laughing.“Okay, it’s been a while,” I admit. “But I’ve never liked parties. You know that. And I hate themed costume parties and dressing up. And the thought of a costume party and being the only single -“She cuts across me.“I keep telling you, there will be loads of other singles there. Jack’s invited a load of his friends that don’t have partners. Same with some of the girls from my office. So, you can’t use that excuse.”I try another tack.“I can’t afford it. You know how my money situation is. Costume shops charge a fortune and I’ve left it too late to get something off the internet now. And by the time I have bought.
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