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In addition, he wasquite hampered in his everyday life because of his need to hide hisbreasts. In addition to the shame he felt of having to hide his body,he also questioned whether this somehow made him less of a man. Whenyou think about it, that is a perfectly natural reaction.But over time, several changes began to take place. For one thing, hefinally started admitting to me that while he was horrified at thechanges that had taken place, he was also fascinated. That is not ascrazy as it may sound. Think of passing the car wreck on the highway.It's terrible, but we cannot avert our eyes. The same thing happenedwith this young boy, who I shall call Jamie (not his real name).Although he would take great pains to hide his chest from others, hefound himself spending hours alone, gazing at his chest in front of themirror. He was both disgusted and fascinated.Wearing a bra only exacerbated this. Because with his breasts fullyfilling this feminine garment, it was if he were almost. And what could and should have been."What could I say? So I nodded and let her tell her story."I'd like to blame everything upon my fucked up mother and upbringing, but it was my decision to agree with everything she'd taught me. She married for the first time young, just in her early twenties and it was a terrible mistake she always regretted. They'd had me, but divorced not long afterwards. She married my stepfather, Earl Henderson years later when I was almost a teenager but the bad mistakes she'd made in her first marriage had haunted her. She made me promise that I'd not fall in love with the first boy that even looked at me and most importantly she'd made me promise on her deathbed to not marry at all until I was at least twenty-five, and that thirty would be even better."She was a proud woman who taught me to stand up for myself and be independent of any man, and that having a career, even repairing cars, was a proud occupation for an independent young woman. She taught me to.
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