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My baloney and generic hot dog diet were as tasteless as an Earnest P. Worrell film festival. Fate intervened when I spent my last fifty cents on the LA Times where I discovered what I thought was only an urban legend: the classified ads.My beady eyes immediately found the potential answer to all my financial woes: a Help Wanted ad for a maid in Beverly Hills. Since I'm a closet Weezer fan I knew this was kismet. The only requirements were "honest and hard-working." Those attributes could be problematic so I began embellishing my resume in hopes the homeowner didn't have access to a polygraph. After selling plasma to finance a trip to a discount hair salon, I began work on my yard sale chic wardrobe.An upgrade was necessary. Luckily, Walmart still hadn't repaired their surveillance cameras so I picked up two stylish and clean outfits. (Let's just say 'clean') After spending two-minutes on my equally yard sale chic makeup I felt like trailer park royalty. Plus, fortunately, I have a. Maybe this ring did have thepower to somehow alter reality to fit my desires. Kristy watched theblonde woman rant and rave, completely oblivious to the bouncing andjiggling of her frame, and decided that she needed to run a test."I want to Kristy to sit down and shut up," Kristy said under herbreath.To Kristy's wonderment the blonde woman shut up mid rant and walkedcalmly to her bed and sat down. Kristy, now giddy, cautiously made herway over to the blonde woman sitting on the bed."You really are Bill, aren't you?" Kristy asked, trying to hide hergrin."Of fucking course I am you dumb bitch!" the blonde woman spat out.Kristy just smiled as she looked over her new sister. Bill, or Mary asshe would be called now, was beautiful. She had long blonde hair, largefirm tits, and a toned and athletic body."I guess that makes some sense," Kristy said aloud to no one inparticular. "Bill was pretty fit, so it would make sense that you wouldbe as well."Mary, still having the compulsion to sit,.
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