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Number 37.Brita had walked up and down the street, on the other side of course, perhaps a half dozen times. But who was counting? She was, by turns, experiencing the chill and butterflies of nervousness, and the white heat of fury at being forced into this situation, and by turns her fury focused on someone to blame. Her mother whose illness forced her to become the family's bread winner? The stupid politicians, all men of course, who had caused the problem with their incompetent framing of laws, or should that be the civil servants, parasites, one and all? Or men with their filthy lusts. That's what grandmother always said. But Brita wasn't too sure of that, all her dealings with men, and there had not been many, had been, well, pleasurable. Then there was the dried up old bag at the Job Centre; no one would want her anyway. Certainly no one could blame her! She looked at the door again. The chill and the butterflies returned. There was nothing particularly remarkable about it, the. Fortunately I looked up at her to see her respond. I watched her face and as was very rare I saw her blush and look nervous and unsure of her answer. She took in a deep breath and let it out again. “Because I care about you deeply,” she said. “Why,” I asked again. She let out a smile of frustration. “Because I do,” she said. This time I smiled and blushed.We stretched out back on the bed getting in under the covers. After we got under the covers Elizabeth’s hand found mine and we held each others hand. I’m not sure why because with everything going wrong in my life there was no reason to be happy but I found myself relaxed and smiling. She then asked me, “So what do you think you’re going to do about being pregnant?”I let out a loud sigh and had to think about it and then I answered her, “I haven’t really had much time to think about it yet. I ummm, don’t think I could ummm you know, ummm ‘end it.’”She nodded thinking about that option. “No that would be pretty harsh, but.
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