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Oh, I responded sexually, since that is the only way I have to express any pleasurable feelings, but the trigger was not sexual at all. Not unless you believe all sex originates in the mind, in which case it was incredibly sexual indeed.I hoped Jim might ask me what I wanted. What commands I needed to receive, as he obviously did regularly with Lucy, though in truth, I would not have had any answer for him. It would take a long time of careful coaching before I would ever begin to think of myself in this manner.Perhaps it had been that way for Lucy as well. It is unlikely that she just woke up one day and started thinking for herself. Or that Jim stood idly by until she was ready for him to fulfill his role in her life. Jim had certainly worked long and hard with her to reach this point.But Jim didn't use my remote to ask me what I needed. This is not to speak poorly of him, because I don't. And unlike Lucy, I remain unable to initiate any conversation or interactions on my own with. ”“Have you ever given a guy a blowjob?”“WHAT?”“Have you ever sucked a guy’s dick?”“Why do you want to know that?”“I told you it’s important to me. Let’s say a certain person might have let a guy put his dick in this person’s mouth. Would that make him gay? I mean is that something that that person should be ashamed of?”It was sounding like this big macho man had sucked a cock and was looking for validation that he wasn’t a pervert or something.“No Jim, I don’t think doing something like that would necessarily make someone gay nor is it really anything to be ashamed of.”“So you have sucked cock. Now be honest.”“Well ... when I was thirteen.”“What happened.”“This is embarrassing Jim.”“You just said it was nothing to be ashamed of.”“It’s not but...”“Come on Bill tell me how you ended up sucking some guy’s dick.”“Well ... like I said I was thirteen I were in the woods behind my house reading a Penthouse magazine.”“Oh Yeah! I loved the letters section of that magazine.”“My pants were down.
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