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I know she will try and probably succeed, that is if I don’t jump before she shows up. Tonight this little dove is going to fly. I ran to get to the water tower, out of breath (a bit out of shape), I climbed up the tower to the top, it is a long way down, and I hate heights. The wind was whipping my curly brown hair every which where. I climb over the railing my arms stretched out behind me and my hands white knuckled holding on the railing, all I have to do is let go and free fall. Trying to talk oneself into jumping isn’t easy, especially with tears running down my checks and a sobbing type hiccup stuck deep in my chest. The world stopped, I don’t know how long I stood there looking down on the trees and meadow below, I think my thoughts ran along the line of what a peaceful place to die. I can hear cars in the distance going to and fro, I even hear a car door slam, although I’m not paying attention. ‘GODDAMN YOU!’ I hear a scream, I almost let go of the railing out of surprise of. They were surprised to see a piece of furniture in such fine condition that they could take away just for the asking. They'd driven over in a pick-up, so that's what they did: took the bed apart, loaded it up, and drove off with it, mattress, box, and all. That was Wednesday night. Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday nights I'd slept on the couch. Wednesday night I was on the couch again, but not by choice: it was the only option. I went to the furniture store on Thursday and found a platform bed they had in stock. It had a headboard you can put things on, but no side railings or footboard. Steven could stretch out all he pleased. They delivered and assembled the bed on Friday, and I was back to sleeping in my bedroom. I'm sure you're wondering, 'So, who is this Pat person she was writing about after the last break?' After my confessional with Ginny I still had about seven weeks until Steven came home. I thought I'd use that time to do some sessions with a licensed counselor to work.
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