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One day Megan my sister had been peeping into my bedroom when I had been reading a porno story on the internet and she saw what nature had endowed me with. "Oh gosh" bruv she said. "That's one hell of a porker you have there. I wish you were my boyfriend instead of my brother"I tried to chase her out of my bedroom but she said insisted on staying and she got a measuring tape and measured me hard at 61/2 inches. "I know a few girls who would love that up them." She said. But she did nothing to introduce me to on of those girls.Like most boys I worked doing a lot of odd jobs for neighbours for pocket money, and Penny Adams who quickly became a close friend of my mothers who had recently moved into the street was my absolute favourite. She was a fairly tall sexy blonde widow of about 32 years of age who knew how to dress, and she had a lovely personality. I started to notice after a while that she always seemed to come to our house when I was alone at home, on some excuse or another.. No, I couldn’t. I tried. I really tried. I cut back. Just drank beer. Yeah, sure! Carla my life. Then that night. I was on a bender … hadn’t been home for two days. June came looking for me — found me — in back of Lenny’s Tavern with the local bar slut. She saw my car. Wasn’t sure. Opened the door. Started crying, crying, running, running away from me. Bar slut laughed and handed me the bottle. The next day I was in jail and June wouldn’t come. She didn’t ever come anymore. My sister called a lawyer for me from her home in Washington and he got me out on a misdemeanor ‘drunk in public’ — no more, my sister said — and I moved to the Roach Motel. Or was it the Rat Motel. The Roach and Rat Motel. One day a guy came by and gave me some papers. I tried to read them but they were all fuzzy and everything was doubled. Then I ran out of money and one of the other Roach Motel residents, my friend and neighbor, told me about the Santa gig. He had an extra suit and beard so I did that and got.
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