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She was wearing a white cotton robe and her hair was up in a towel where she had just washed it. As I stopped her in the hall, I reached out to her and put my hand on her waist. She started to step back, then she just kind of lowered her head, nervously."Mom, what's going on? You seem like you don't want anything to do with me anymore. Did I do something? Are you mad at me?"Mom looked up at me, a tear running down her cheek. "Oh, no, Paul, that's far from the truth. It's just that - I'm afraid to get close to you." What are you talking about?" Well, I got close to your dad, and he left. Then I got close to Karen and Jennifer, and THEY left. Now you are all I've got, and I'm afraid if I get close to you, you will somehow leave me, too."Then she laid her head on my shoulder and really started to cry. I put my arms around her."I'm not going to leave you, mom. I love you. If we are having sex or not has nothing to do with it. I've always been here for you. Wasn't I here for you when dad. Nicky definitely appealed to him, and he joined her at lunch in the same cafeteria. They had both, prudently, brought their lunches in brown paper bags, because the food being offered was from vending machines, and was both unpalatable and expensive. Jim had a bologna and processed cheese sandwich on white bread with a banana, and she had prepared for herself cream cheese on a bagel and fruit salad and, when she was finished eating, she put the salad container and the spoon back into the bag to take home, wash, and use again the next day. Having spent much of her life around food, Nicky was more aware of the many possibilities than was her lunch companion. They also got together in the cafeteria for the afternoon coffee break. Nicky was a pleasant and attractive companion and Jim, who had never even come close to being married, could feel himself being quite drawn to her. She looked on him as a nice guy, and his plainness and lack of ambition were the direct opposite of her.
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