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It was subtle at first, barely more than a faint grumbling, I thought itwas the stomach about to launch its first attack wave. But stomach painsusually don't make your hair grow at an astonishing rate, which is whathappened. My neck was catch unawares by a mass of hair. It slid like someone was pulling a scarf down my neck. I jumped, thinking some insect wascrawling over my neck and when I tried to girlishly flick it away Idiscovered it was hair, blond hair. I spell it, 'blond' because I wasstill a male at this point, you see. I screamed a horrifying, blood-curdling scream. In hindsight having my hair change color was one of theleast unsettling things to happen that day and hardly worth screamingabout when compared to what was right about to occur, but I challengeanyone else not keep quiet in such an alarming situation. I screamed longand loud and I'm not surprised my housemate, Andy, woke up and got up tosee what the matter was. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Before Andy had. They were all looking somewhere else. He turned back to me with a confused look. ‘Do I know you or something?’ When I shook my head he asked, ‘Then what’s your beef with me?’ ‘I don’t like assholes, especially ones who try to give me orders. We could possibly have been friends if you hadn’t copped an attitude right off the bat. As it is now, you’re high on my shit list.’ ‘Who the fuck are you?’ Ralph asked. ‘I’m the guy who’s going to kill you if you don’t ease up on the hard guy routine. I’m the guy who’s going to take your old lady away from you very shortly, if she’s lucky. I’m someone who’s a hell of a lot meaner than you ever thought about being. I’m the guy you should have steered clear of and left alone.’ ‘Man, you’re crazy,’ Ralph whispered as he stared in disbelief and anger. ‘Yeah, yeah I am. I always have been and I always will be. So sit down and drink your beer.’ Anger won out for a split second and then his eyes dropped to the Glock still lying on the bar. I could see.
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