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God, I wish I had known. Maybe we could havehelped each other. Maybe I wouldn't be where I was now. But, she wasdead. Victim of an 'accidental' overdose. About as accidental as I wasplanning."You know. You're one of the lucky ones who got to spend at least partof their lives as a woman. Look at me...I'm nearly sixty, I've been wearingdresses as long as I can remember and I will NEVER look like a woman!Christ. I just want this over with. I'm so tired of living a lie!Jahna just looked at me with those big blue eyes. I saw a tear slowlycrawl down her cheek."God damnit!! I've tried! I've tried being what everyone expects me tobe. I've tried living my life in the shadows! One foot in the closet andone foot out! I just can't do it any more!" I was shouting and crying at the same time. Jahna just sat on the coffeetable and took my hand in both of hers."I know. I was there. I was the woman I was always meant to be until aTV show found out I had transitioned and decided to. I feel the same about the scenes she’s done with other men. In our personal lives, we’ve joined other couples who were enticed by our work or who we’ve met in happenstance, like we have with you.”He put a hand on my shoulder to make a physical connection, perhaps make what he was telling me more visceral. “Marisol wants you. She sees you and Esther together and kissing, how happy you are together, and she said that you are the one. She asked me what I thought about Esther and we agreed on approaching the two of you. How would you feel about that?”I could see that this was where it was going, but it still struck hard now that it was out loud, in the open. “I’m… The first thing I’d wonder is how Esther would feel about it!”“I guess we’ll know soon enough,” he said, “Marisol’s talking to Esther right now, proposing the idea, like I am with you. I’m not sure what she might be saying, but she’ll ask Esther if she would let you take Marisol to bed, and if she would like to be with me.
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