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[Walk into audience and choose random guest.] I know it’s only Independence Day this weekend, but think ahead—or back—on Labor Day weekend. How do you plan to spend the weekend?GUEST: Get together with some friends. Probably go to the beach. Uh ... We might barbecue or something and sit around watching a DVD.ME: Would you consider watching a DVD with me?GUEST: In a heartbeat!ME: [Returning to chair next to Courtney.] I think we’re going to have company for our date.COURTNEY: She’s cute. [Mimes to Guest, phone call and ‘Call me.’ Laughter.]ME: All right. So we’ve got another boring dinner and a movie date where no one says anything. How are we going to change things up?COURTNEY: It starts this summer. Go to our website on July 6 and you’ll get to help define my date in with Brian. Our date is going to include dinner or snacks, and a DVD. You get to make suggestions as to what DVD we should watch, what food we should eat, even what we should wear for our casual night in. Keep it clean.. Nothing stands out from the ordinary.You knew moving out into the suburbs was a mistake as soon as you signed the papers. But "Jace Tyreson never backs away from a fight," or so you keep telling yourself. House arrest isn't so bad, you try to tell yourself. Your food is delivered to you on time, the TV and computer work, and for the most part, your needs are pretty much taken care of for you. At least you don't need to wear one of those garish ankle monitors. Still, the situation itself is an insult.Maybe you could've seen this coming, maybe not. You were never all that great at reading women, isolated as you were growing up. High school was a bit of a shock, and given your lack of socialization, the logical thing to do was retreat into yourself. And yeah, that painted you as kind of a weirdo. So did all the damn straight A's you seemed to get. You were slated for valedictorian for most of those four years. And then you discovered girls, and got distracted by one that just didn't work.
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