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." I started, but Angela shook her head. "Don't say anything Brett," Angela said. "I want to tell you I'm astupid fool. I never should have done what I did to myself, and I'llnever forgive myself for talking you into doing the same." It's alright Angie," I said.She shook her head. "No, it isn't." She said. "I keep thinking about it,that's the truth. I'm not the Angela you knew before. I'm not the sameAngela who did those stupid things. It's my hell to go back over thatmisconfusion, to feel all the savageness of our lives again and againand again." She paused. "I know I still look the same, but I've lived inhell for several years now, living with the guilt and until this momentI never knew why you hadn't followed me there. Now I know, and I'm happyfor you."I lifted a hand and touched her cheek. I couldn't think of anything tosay. "I'll get out of hell one day," Angela said, "I know that nobody staysthere forever and I'm not going to be so foolish as to ask you to waitfor me either. You. I know that sounds crazy but it's true in lots of places. If you were living in the time of my great grandmother, not so long ago, and you were married, you would be a slave to your husband. That was the law. You wouldn't be able to vote, sign contracts, or do anything in your name. This is what they don't fucking teach girls in high school! I love that you can go out there and make your own choices about who you fuck, how often, how much, and when you are done with one man or woman, however painful that might be, you feel as if you have the freedom to move on. If you did choose to marry, nobody is going to check to see if your hymen is still intact. What I'm saying, and I know I'm going on and on, is that the freedom that you enjoy now came from the blood and sacrifice and determination of thousands of women pushing against the gates of this system designed and run by men. I want you to stay for another week with me. I'm going to drive you up to the library at UC Berkeley tomorrow..
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