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Caught shoplifting in the lingerie department of Monk&Sparrow, a department story in Gallery mall. A note from the manager informed that it was the third time Mrs. Wood was caught doing the same in their department store, but in different malls. The first two times Mr. Wood bought her out, but this time the store decided to press the charges.Why should a wife of a doctor, certainly not pressed for money, steal a hundreds bucks worth of panties and bras?There was a report of twenty or thirty pages from a forensic psychiatrist using big Latin words trying to answer exactly that question. I sighed, sipped more of the unsweetened tea and started on page one of the report.All raise for the Judge!I climbed on my podium, nodded at the usually full room and banged my gravel. "Next case." Case 2005, people against Mrs. Jane Wood," intoned the bailiff.I looked at the young housewife. She was a pretty little thing dressed in conservative clothes that enhanced her youngish look. Her hair was cut. Sincerely,The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, The Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.This one is compliments of Alex G UN SurveyLast month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the U.N.The only question asked was:-"Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world."The survey was a complete failure because:In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.In South America and Russia they didn't know what "please" meant.In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.And in Australia, New Zealand, Canada and Britain everyone hung up.
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