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Next time I cheated, it was with Jason. Next several times. Roderick didn’t catch me again until just after I told him that I was pregnant. Then, of course, he insisted on a paternity test, not that I minded. I wasn’t going to stick him with Jason’s kids. Worst case, I’d have given them up for adoption. I’m glad that I didn’t have to, of course. Of course, at the rate that Roderick was hitting me now, I wondered if they would even survive to full term, anyway.“Roderick really blew up at me, and only then did I confront him about his own straying. I didn’t mention the abuse, because at the time I still blamed myself for that. Catholic guilt and gaslighting, a toxic combination. He denied it furiously, though I never believed him. We broke up again for a bit, and I crashed at Jason’s for a bit, but that didn’t last, because Jason had a girlfriend of his own and didn’t want to get caught.“His girlfriend was crazy jealous, too. She abused him badly, worse than Roderick would beat me! She. Jon then told me that he would wait for me outside, and left. I finished drying myself with the 2 girls watching me as they got dressed. Once dry I got my Ben Wa balls from my bag, rolled them in my hands to warm them, then put one leg on the bench and put them in me. The look on the girl’s faces was a picture. It didn’t change when I put just my dress on and walked out.Week commencing June 8Nothing much happened early in the week but Jon came home from work at lunchtime on the Friday and said that we were going camping for the weekend. I had never been camping before and had never been in the Girl Guides so I had no idea what was involved. We packed the car and set off. We drove to a campsite just outside Blackpool and we put the tent up and unloaded the car. After that, we walked to the nearest pub for a drink. This was full of teenagers and I felt a bit ‘old’ being there. No one seemed to notice my short dress and un-crossed legs. I suppose that was because there were dozens of.
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