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” Jill and I put our plates in the dishwasher and went upstairs. She was not directly behind me because I think that she was feeling weird about our relationship. However she was feeling, I do know that she was smiling during dinner. Smiling while not being able to raise her head says to me that she was feeling good, bad and a little naughty all at the same time.I opened a book at my desk and couldn’t think about homework, only about Jill. I told myself that we wouldn’t do it again. What was making it difficult was the look on Jill’s face that I saw during dinner. She liked it and probably wanted more. Attempts at studying were no good. After I went to bed, feeling of guilt left me to the point where I could take care of my physical needs. As I masturbated, the memory of Jill’s snatch and the feel of her nipples gave me a quick and intense orgasm. For the next three days, Jill and I hardly talked at all. The whole thing just felt too wrong and yet visions of Jill kept me masturbating.. But what? Tears burned my face.I staggered out of the restaurant and headed back to the sanctuary of my hotel room. I got a room in a small hotel in Pacific Beach. I tried to understand the events of the day and failed. I wanted my family back, but realized that was impossible. However, I also knew that I had to go forth. For the past five years, I have been the father figure of our family, and I had grown a lot. I could not fail my brothers now.As I laid down that night, past conversations and events burned my soul. My entire life ran past my eyelids. Every little league game, every family dinner, every time he sat with me doing math homework, every time he held my head as, I vomited into the toilet with the flu ran through my mind. I could not think of any bad memories of this man. Pain and sorrow consumed me until Morpheus took over.The dawn shook me out of my dreams. The cold autumn air of the Pacific chilled me to the core. The night did nothing to give me direction to the.
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