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He was always fucking pissed off about something and taking it out on whoever was nearest. I was nearest. ‘When you’re living like that, you get hooked on it. The adrenaline is like a drug. It doesn’t make you happy but after a while you can’t function without the drama and the crises. There’s the fear too, wondering when the temper is going to build up and blow and you’ll get it in the neck. Sometimes it would get so bad, waiting and waiting, that I would do something to provoke him. Just to get it over with. And sometimes I thought I wanted to die. It was like living in Hell and you can’t get away. ‘But I got away,’ I said, turning my head down and looking fiercely into the HOG’s watery blue eyes. ‘It was the second … no, it was the third time he’d put me in hospital. I lost another baby. My mate Jan had come in to help me. My ex was nowhere to be seen, of course. He knew I wouldn’t file charges. I’d never dare. It wasn’t just him, the whole gang would make sure I didn’t live to. It was an innocent faux pas on Pete's part, one she would have overlooked had he not loitered behind her, slurping his drink and reading over her shoulder. Pointing out a typo was the last straw.A fat tear ran down Lucy's cheek as she remembered how she'd yelled at him. It was a massive overreaction, one spawned by the stress of a publishing deadline she had no chance of meeting. It wasn't Pete's fault and now she hid her face in her hands, recalling the look on his face as she'd shouted obscenities. Poor Pete. He'd blanched and, mouth gaping, left without uttering a word."Sorry" had formed on Lucy's lips too late, the apology drowned out by the click of the front door. With the deepest regret, she acknowledged that she'd lashed out needlessly at the person who loved her most. After all, Pete had been totally supportive when she'd quit her well-paid job to write full-time, and he encouraged her to carry on when her first novel failed. The success of her second novel was as much down.
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