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’ ‘Who the fuck is Gretzky?’ ‘Never mind. You’d be experienced enough to know how to pleasure a man good, but virginal enough to take home to Momma. And I’d be loving and considerate. And my teammates would be real pals, real good guys, instead of a bunch of shits I can’t stand. And we’d all support each other, and care about each other, and we’d have a Coach who was like Jesus instead of a drunken excuse, and the team would go on to win the Stanley Cup, instead of being sold like waste paper for recycling. And….’ He choked. He picked up the empty whiskey glass, snarled at Denny, ‘How much is this?’ and when Denny replied ‘On the house, guy, you scored a goal tonight’, he threw it at the wall and it shattered. He shouted, ‘because I don’t fucking care any fucking more, because it fucking hurts and I can’t make it stop unless I hit someone bad, because I’m a thug and a fucking bum and because when the fucking Islanders fold I have to go back to Sydney Mines and drink whatever’s left of. ”“They don’t have Privates in the Navy.”I looked down at my crotch, looked back at her, then leaned forward, “I beg to differ. We most certainly do have privates.”She cocked her head a little. “Alright then, Captain, is it?”“Almost. Lieutenant.”“Full looey?”“Well, JG. Junior Grade.”“So you’re like a trainee, then. A non-swearing, overly salacious Naval trainee. And… oh great, you’re married, too. Just what I needed.”I felt the weight of my wedding ring pulling on my arm. I had forgotten I was married there for about four minutes. I had better snap out of this.“So… what’s the plan for getting the Locke?” That’s a big-ass walk-behind power mower, about eight feet of chopping blades. A golf course depends on these.“I’ve got an old Ford tractor here but it won’t start. It cranks but… well, I don’t know what.”“Is it a 9N? My grandpa had one of those.” She showed me the old dog. They were pretty straightforward and dependable. I checked a few things; starter worked, spark worked, gasoline….
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