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It was definitely older and moregrown-up than the flower girl dress but Chris still though the dress hada hint of little girl in it.Ever since seeing the dress, he would imagine the girl in the catalogwho was wearing the dress swaying back and forth with the skirt swishingall about her. He couldn?t help but wonder how it would feel to wearsuch a thing. Would it tickle your legs? He felt a light giddinessspread within him when he thought about it, it was just so pretty! Mollywas stupid, he concluded, she should be happy to wear a gorgeous dresslike that.While he was absorbed in thoughts about the dress, he heard his sistersay, "Chris and I looked it up yesterday, it really is so darling, isn'tit Chris?"Chris, caught up in that moment in the thought of the dress and wantingto join in the criticism of his sister, exclaimed "Oh yes, it is soooopretty, I can't believe she doesn't want to wear it! I love the fullskirt!" He immediately felt silly when he heard his voice say thosewords; he. "As I grew to become a .. man... my feelings did not change, and I stillfound myself looking a little enviously at girls, singly or in groups. Theyalways seemed to look after their appearance and kept fresh and clean, moreso than men. I think that much of it is the joy of just being young women,enjoying life, and their friends, yes, their own bodies and having pride inthem."I wish that I had been born a girl and grow up to get a lovely curvedfigure with breasts and a slim waist and wide hips and more intimate parts,not a hairy body with and ugly dangling penis and scrotum. Yes, I wouldhave a woman's body's with its demands and monthly rhythms but I wouldwelcome these."I would have different emotions too. I would confide in girlish thingswith my mother and with other girls and we would help each other. Myfather, he would be much more protective and no longer push me to competeand be aggressive."I tried to hide these feelings, but maybe my ... inclinations wererecognized and that was.
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