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That night, if night it was, after I had dragged myself through everything they had me do and cropped me, insulted me, berated me, or forced me to repeat things over and over until I got them perfectly, I collapsed on the floor and started to cry. I couldn’t take it anymore. This was pointless cruelty and I knew Mistress would never sanction what they were doing. It made no sense!I knew I could quit and I desperately wanted to. All I had to do is say so and it would all stop. But then I would lose Mistress forever.~~~~~Puzzles fascinate me, and both my conscious and subconscious mind work and worry at things I do not understand until I do. It is what Mistress recognized in me, when she challenged me to a game of chess.It took me some time to recognise what was happening to me at DeCoven, but looking back on it, it should have been obvious that they were trying to break me, so that they could reshape my personality. They didn’t want me to act like a slave, they wanted me to become a. She would take special delight in explainingto me the joys and torments I would have in these rooms after the WOT(Week Of Transformation). Even though I am still outwardly a male, myinner femininity is really being brought out by Mother's attentions andinstructions. Sometimes I even find myself looking forward longingly tothat WOT so that Mother's and Grandmother's wishes for me may befulfilled. The tension is building within this male body which willerupt, either into a happy blossom of girlhood, or into deep depression.For now, I have been assimilating womanhood fairly well. As one step inmy PTP, mother has, I guess, hired four young ladies of about my age, tospend two evenings a week here in the house, playing cards or makingpizzas or just gossiping. all with me included as a male who is quite upto date on feminine matters. I am sure they have been instructed to holdnothing back in their conversations. My opinions on Maxi-Pads vs. Tamponshave been thoroughly explored. And I tend.
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