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When he eventually surfaced for air it was his turn for the beetroot face treatment. I’d hit a nerve!‘I don’t know anything about it. Don’t know what you mean’ said Danny. ‘Not sure I believe you there mate. I think you need to start talking’I bought another round and placed 2 fresh pints on the table as Danny explained how, one day a few weeks ago, one of the managers asked him to log her into a video conference. ‘Wait, you said her. Log her in. Who exactly are we talking about Danny?’Shoes became fascinating again. ‘Can’t say. I’ll get the boot’ he mumbled.It turns out the one and only Christine Harper asked Danny to show her how to log in to a video call. Danny had explained he’d need written permission from a Director but he was told our head honcho was on holiday; he’d cleared it before he left anyway and Ms Harper would ‘take care’ of the paperwork. Danny had agreed and was rewarded for his assistance. Two days later two Eurostar tickets arrived at his parents’ house for Danny. Mike slid the fifty over the bar and laughed. “Artie, how many people have you gotten with that one?”Artie said “Plenty, but I’m running out of bars. But, just to show you I’m a sport, how about double or nothing that I can bite my left eye?”Mike thought “He can’t have two glass eyes, he’s been able to see everything, pick up his beers, and all that shit” So, he said “Double it is. Show me.”Artie pulled out his false teeth, bit his left eye and put the dentures back in.Mike laughed again, “Artie, that was worth the hundred to get a story I’ll use for years.”Artie sat and worked on his beer for a few minutes then called Mike back.“Mike, how about a big bet? I’ll put up a thousand dollars that I can stand on top of one end of your bar and piss into a shot glass all the way at the other end. I won’t miss a drop and will fill it exactly to the brim.”Mike couldn’t believe this one. His bar was thirty feet long. No one could arc a thirty foot piss exactly on target and cut it off exactly on.
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