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Past perfect gets awkward fast, so if you want to do a lengthy flashback it’s best to use some other devices to indicate it. Be very careful about nesting flashbacks within flashbacks; that way lies madness, especially if you’re using tenses as your primary way of indicating the order things happened in.Character POVMost readers tend to identify with one character at a time, and most stories are written to help them with that. Accordingly, unless you’re going for some weird avant-garde effect it’s best to stick to writing from just one character’s point of view (POV) at a time. This means only writing one character’s thoughts. You can still have other characters show emotions, but show don’t tell. Only speak directly about feelings when talking about your POV character. Check out the little passage below.“Shelly was mortified. The look on Paula’s face was one of abject horror, while Jennifer seemed more angry than anything.”Here we’re writing from Shelly’s POV, so when we write. It felt like all my pleasures had come together in a moment of ecstasy.And my prick was still there, throbbing and erect. A miracle.But I hadn’t cum yet. When I looked round, Maggie had disappeared. As I gained my breath, she reappeared, dressed as a 16yo schoolgirl.Even though I was naked, our roles reversed. She was the schoolgirl. I was the strict Headmaster.‘You naughty, dirty girl. You’ve been seen flashing your tits at the boys and now you’re going to be punished. Now bend over.’ She did just that, revealing her creamy white thighs and her delightful derriere.I gave her a few stripes with the tawse across her the thick blue knickers but it was obvious it wasn’t having much effect. I peeled them down and then really laid into her reddening bum.‘oh yes,’ she said, ‘Give it to me, do it, my pussy is creaming, I’m dripping. 10 more and then I want your cock. Fuck my tight teenage cunt and make me cum again and again.’ It was more than I could take. ‘I’ll owe you the last ten. Take.
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