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If one never gets married there is no possibility of divorce. I realize that the idea is stupid ... but sometimes it IS necessary to explain things to some people ... like me. I did it twice. My father used to say, "You fool me once? Shame on you! You fool me twice? Shame on me!" He said that a lot.Supposing one did get married ... like my first time.The number two cause is the reception.That's when you meet the child molesters and porn stars, my newly acquired brother in law. Not my wife's brother ... no ... her sister's husband. He happened to be both. Molester AND porn star ... which brings us to the funny uncle.I'd rather not talk about that.The crazy aunts; in this case they're my sisters in law. Bat shit crazy ... all four of them ... but the youngest one decided I should be married to her ... and she was truly cute. Even though I no longer have the first wife ... they are still my children's aunts.I am beginning to see that the next category is redundant; the perverts and the. How could a whole life pass by in a single second?I knew the answer now, but I wish I didn't. Every moment felt like alifetime and I was able to watch mine from the beginning.My name is Justin Roberts. As dreadful a name as any. I often dreamed ofthrottling those who made a two first names joke thinking they wereclever. Anyway, I was born into a lower-middle class family with oneelder brother and 16 close cousins. It was a pretty average childhood Iguess. I had enough to eat, I had a roof over my head, a yard, and a dog,so I guess I can't really complain.Still... I had regrets. Parents will always say they don't have afavorite child. This is a lie. My brother was the apple of their eye. Hewas interested in sports from a young age and often excelled at them. Hewas their first son and he was hearing impaired. I'm not jealous of mybrother. I am glad to have good hearing. The only reason I mention it isbecause it meant that besides sports and normal school activities myparents also had.
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