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It’s harmless, innit?”She waves at a passing bus. Shouts to the driver, “I’m gonna be a television star! Yeah ... Britains Got Talent!” She turns back to us. “I’ve got talents, right?” She wobbles her cleavage at us. It’s not huge, but it’s noticeable, especially with the top three buttons of her shirt undone.So, dogs... “Yeah. I’m a filthy woman. I’ll do anything once. When I was young that wasn’t a problem. I never had a problem finding men who wanted to take advantage ... I like to be used. And abused.” She laughs. “When I was young I went to parties and they would tie me up and put in the corner with my arse in the air ... They said it was my best feature ... Blokes would take turns in there. Not even talking to me. I felt so popular ... I loved it. But they stopped having those kind of parties in the 80s when AIDS came up ... You can’t get AIDS from a dog, can you?”She lights up a cigarette for ‘desert’. “They say I can’t smoke on the bus ... But I always smoke in the. The face no longer exists merely as a functional and vaguely pleasing framework to keep my mouth, eyes, nostrils and ears from being pulled out of formation by their mutual gravity.Now the hair does decorative things in synchrony with the face, to wit, precision posing designed to make the girls giggle and coo and make the guys all have to find books to hold in front of themselves.As if that fools the girls, guys: I found that out the first day. Maybe I'll talk about that sometime, if I ever get over the embarrassment of having my recent history recounted to me in third-person picaresque reportage.As expected of occupied territory, I no longer have free rein over it. I scratch at an itch on my cheek and FPU doth decree, "_Don't do that, you'll mess up your makeup._" I tell her about the itch and she doth retort, "_live with it._" I brush the artfully sculpted hair away from my eyes and FPU declaimeth, "_Don't mess it up_". Mess *what* up? Hair is hair, invulnerable to casual hand.
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