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For the past few years, I hadn’t been around ‘home’ when important things were happening, lifetime memories were being made. For example, I hadn’t been able to visit Katelyn and her newborns in hospital, hadn’t seen my niece and nephew’s first steps, or heard their first words. I wasn’t on the ‘inside’ any longer. In some ways, I was lucky I still had a reserved bedroom to call my own – they might easily have turned it into a nursery.And, when you’ve got a hugely responsible job like mine, it can be way too easy to become Mr. Serious and Sensible, or, even worse, Mr. Big Shot Whose Shit Doesn’t Stink. If the stuff coming across your desk is a mix of serious issues affecting peoples’ livelihoods and life chances, and irritating petty bureaucratic minutiae, it’s sometimes hard to keep ‘normal’ things in perspective. Had a boss once who had become a grammar nazi – he just had to find a fault in your report format or composition – it was his way of reminding everyone who was the boss. I. There was a diva from Spartawho was a magnificent fartaBOOM! went her ass withBach’s B-Minor Massand for an encore she played a sonataThis one is compliments of Gary:The doctor came out of the exam room chuckling after he had given a physical to an old retired sailor. His nurse asked, “What’s so funny?”The doctor replies, “You need to go in and see this old guy. He has his girlfriend’s name, ‘Tina’ tattooed on his pecker.”So the nurse decides to go check it out. A while later she comes out of the exam room and tells the doctor, “You were mistaken about him. He doesn’t have his girlfriend’s name tattooed on his equipment, he has his ship’s name tattooed on it. The Ticonderoga!”These are compliments of Andrew B.A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.His curiosity getting.
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