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If a bluebird has blue babies and a redbird has red babies, what kind of bird has no babies?A. A swallow.Q. Did you hear about the woodworker who fell into a vat of varnish?A. It was a terrible end, but a beautiful finish.I bought a dog from a blacksmith today. As soon as he got home he made a bolt for the door!A blond is walking down the street with one tit hanging out. A cop stops her and says, “Look darling, as pretty a picture as it makes, you’re going to have to put that away. I could cite you for indecent exposure.”“Why?” says the blond.“Your tit is hanging out!” replies the cop, astounded.The blond looks down and says “Oh, shit! I left the baby on the bus again!”A man’s been through a rough patch of health, and the docs can’t work out what’s wrong. After he’s baffled the final expert, his doctor turns to him and says, “We can’t work out why this is happening, but you’re probably going to die in the next three months. What you can do is cut out all fatty and spicy food. Get rid. Fortunately Peter is a very sensitive man, and he immediately percepted her wish."Come over here, Helly. I think I didn't finish that spanking you deserve for splashing water on me." Slowly, without saying a word, she walked up to him. Her nervousness showed clearly in her slow steps, because this time it was not for fun, and she only had a faint idea of how she would react. In one swift movement he wrestled her down on their bed, lying face down, and when he had grabbed both her wrists with his left hand, he started slapping her pretty, round bottom. Quickly her breathing changed, just like it had done in the garden."Don't you move while I take off your top." Peter let go of her hands, and true to his order she stayed where she was. When her top was off, he grabbed her hands again, and in a very determined way he dealt her 10 slaps on her arse and the backside of her thighs. This time Helly wriggled her hips, but not as if to avoid him, more like she tried to make her ass even more.
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