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I could see the top bullet in one of them because it was facing towards me. I could see the empty space in the bottom of the handle of the gun. That would be the hole where the slidey-thing would slide up inside to make the gun loaded. There were also two boxes of bullets. One of them was closed up and looked new. The other one had the lid open and there were a handful of bullets lying in the bottom of the box. I’m positive that the number of bullets missing from the box was way more than the number of bullets that would fit into the two slidey-things.That told me something important. Not only does Dad own a gun – he’s been using it.I could see one last bit of paper under the gun. It looked like a legal form of some sort or other – maybe it’s a gun permit, I’m not sure. I wasn’t going to pick up the gun to check. A little bit of my brain panicked when I even thought about picking up the gun. “I don’t want to die,” it screamed. “I don’t want to be one of those 150 accidents.”Most of. I picked myself up from the frozen lawn screaming at him loud enough to wake the whole neighborhood, ‘What about the forgiveness, and understanding of the lord Dad? Your Lesbian daughter not good enough for it? Not in your house huh? Well screw ya both I don’t need your fucking forgiveness you puke, or his! You god damn hypocrite!’ That night was the last time I had spoken to anyone in my family. It was also the last time I’d ever set foot in my hometown. I promised myself on that painful winter’s night that I would never ever go back there. There was nothing in that past that I wanted or needed anymore. That single most unpleasant experience I had ever endured changed my entire life. The anger it inspired had driven me to succeed at anything I set my mind to accomplish. I felt it burning in me as hotly today as I did that awful night so long ago. Marching to my desk with the same angry determination boiling inside me, and I heard myself softly repeating what I screamed at his.
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