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“So what happened?”Tim smiled and thought it was a good idea to tell the overall story as he had to his friends the night before. “I was there for my birthday dinner with my family and neighbors. They knew the place’s owner and got us a last-minute table. When we got there, we found out we would be sharing the special dining room with some people who were eating before a concert that night. The meal was great, but more of the celebrity’s friends showed, and it was pretty easy to see they had been celebrating long before they got there.”“Ah, the tracksuit assholes that suck YungBalla’s dick whenever he wants,” David said. Mr. Baird just grunted in agreement. “Those guys suck worse than he does. Wait a second. They’re supposed to be these badass MMA dudes. They make, like, daily films of themselves fighting each other and all comers. How the fuck did you fight them off?”Mr. Baird slapped David on his arm, pointed both hands openly at Tim, and then mimed being a muscle-bound hulk. It. Early on, Tori wanted to know more about me. She asked if I ever had a girlfriend? (No.) What was my mother like? (Gone a lot.) Where was my dad? (No idea.) Why did I stare at girls’ butts? (Because — wait — what?)“Bryan, girls know. You may not think we’re paying attention but we are. So, you look at Angela’s ass in sixth period and in the halls. You want to fuck her ass, don’t you?”I was shocked by such directness from a girl who seemed so wholesome.I blurted, “NO!” Then restated, “I mean, no.”She laughed. “Then what? Wait. Maybe I can guess. Like Sierra says, ‘Whatever it is that guys like, they either want to kiss it, eat it, or fuck it—or all three’. So, if you aren’t into anal sex, then …” Her index finger pressed to her lips. “You want to kiss it, don’t you? That’s it! You want to kiss Angela’s ass!”I couldn’t answer because just hearing a.
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