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Each boy would avoid my father, I was happy about that as he was not my favorite of people. Hey he never took the time to know me, so why would I do it for him? He would just sit there in HIS chair and smoke his cigarettes, eat his donuts and watch television.He died a horrible slow death of kidney failure, and lung disease. Diet and smoking had caught up to him and I had cried outside his hospital room. I had refused to go in to see him. I don't think he missed me those last few moments."I'm sorry that upset you," He said. It was sometime later and I had refused to engage with him since his Daddy comment. He had found me sitting in MY chair watching television. I didn't smoke and I kept my sweets consumption down to a minimum.I turned to look at him. "Yeah that was NOT sexy."He tried to smile, to lighten things up. Sometimes that worked, other times it would just piss me off more.He reached out to touch me. I leaned away from him. The ick factor was still strong."I just thought it. Or at least I naively thought I did. She killed that feeling and I resent her for it. There has been a lot of mental anguish between then and now. All of it mine.It wasn't a rhetorical question. She's waiting for an answer. I looked her right in the eyes and said, "I was all set to leave you when I got home last night. I only came back for my things. You've killed the love I had for you. That's sad, because I really adored you. You knew it, too. You knew it and you took advantage of me. I think I've only just come to realize that you never really loved me. I was just someone you could use and control."But I don't hate you. I resent you for a lot of very good reasons. But I don't feel strongly enough about you to hate you. We could have had a wonderful life together. The thing is, Gwen, you were never looking for a lover, for a man to share your life with. You were looking for someone to support you. You wanted a man to let you live the life of a fucking princess and leave you the.
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