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The assistant manager asked me if I would mind closingup as he really wanted to get home to his wife, I saidI would, so he handed me a spare set of keys to thestore and left, at this point I was alone, There was anhour left before closing and not a customer in thestore so I busied myself arranging the shoes on displayin our rather large display window.This was before the days when everything had to be inenclosed malls. This shoe store stood alone just off abusy main drag in a bedroom community in NorthernVirginia just outside Washington, DC, the displaywindow faced the parking lot so I was sure to see ifany customers drove up.After only a few minutes, I noticed head lights out ofthe corner of my eye and sure enough, a car pulled upright in front of the store and parked, two veryattractive young women got out of the car walked up tothe display window, I was sure they had noticed me butthey didn’t pay any attention, instead they walked upand down the display looking over the shoes. A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are in a Mexican prison. They committed a crime and have been sentenced to death. The women are instructed to say when they are ready for the firing squad to shoot and kill them. The brunette is called up. She says, “Ready, aim, tornado!” Afraid of an approaching funnel cloud, the police quickly turn around and the brunette runs away.Once regrouped, the redhead is summoned. She says, “Ready, aim, earthquake!” Fooled again, the police quickly turn around to get cover while the redhead runs away. Then it’s the blonde’s turn, who says, “Ready, aim, fire!”I was walking down the street and I punched a white guy and then I was arrested for assault. The next day after I got out, I punched a black guy and I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.Q: Have you heard about McDonald’s new Obama Value Meal?A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.Q: Why is England the wettest country?A: Because so many kings and queens have.
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