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“First, she does stuff to make sure he’s excited and hard, and he does stuff to make sure she’s excited and wet. If he’s hard and she’s wet it goes right in, no problem.”“How the hell do you know these things?” she asked him. Fred was surprised; he’d never heard Frida say “hell” before. She didn’t say it often, but would sometimes when talking about adult things. And sex, that was about as adult as it gets.“I learned it reading magazines like this one,” he told her. “You wanna see how she gets him hard?”“He’s not hard already?”“Nah,” the boy shook his head. “Well a little bit, but not much hard. You can see it’s still mostly hanging down. When he’s hard it’ll stick out like, well here I’ll show you.”He turned another page and the girl leaned forward. In the first panel the adults were kissing. Their mouths were open and their tongues were touching. Frida nodded: French kissing. She’d seen that in person. There were two sixteen-year-olds who liked to make out in the park, and they. She sighed, pushed the hair away from her eyes with the back of her hand and turned to look around the kitchen. It usually seemed bright to her but today, despite the blazing sun outside, everything looked dingy and yellowed. Everything – from the dusty, dried flower arrangement with the oddly canted, broken cattail that took pride of place on the kitchen table in between the mismatched salt and pepper shakers, to the haphazard collection of brightly colored refrigerator magnets holding up an assortment of fading recipes, postcards and notes – it all seemed to have lost whatever meaning it had ever had for her. It was just junk, at the same time both embarrassingly intimate and utterly impersonal. Like the discarded remnants of someone elses life. Someone who’d moved out and left behind whatever wasn’t even worth the trouble of putting into a box they’d probably never bother to unpack anyway. She wondered what her old friends would think if they could see her right now. Would they be.
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