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I feel so much shame but yet still find hope in the time he allows me to be at his feet. In one sentence he can have me trembling in fear that I will never be allowed in the comfort of his steel again but hopeful that he might give me a chance. I think he relishes the power he has over me, knowing he keeps me in suspense, frustrated and confused but oh, so overjoyed that he allows me a chance to try. I don’t think I can put eloquently enough into words all that he was and is to me or begin to explain the thousands upon thousands of hours that he spent with me, molding and shaping me to be his. He had created in me that which he desired most and that which I craved most and in his time away, I had let it slip. I do not doubt that it is still hidden deep within me … all those inane things he had drilled into me. Our time together was spent perfecting the relationship that we had and we were beautiful together, like a finely tuned instrument. My reactions were instant and fueled by his. Do you think I could stay the night?"The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard.The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say,"We can't tell you because you're not a monk."The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car...That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier.The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply,"We can't tell you because you're not a monk."The man says, "All right, all right. I'm dying to know.If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?"The monks reply,"You must travel the Earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact.
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