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Before he could say anything to me I gave him a “don't talk to me” look and kept walking to the door. I showed the doorman my stamp so he'd know to let me back in and went to the secret spot where I parked my car, through an alley behind some old buildings. It was a bit of a walk and in a weird spot, but it beat the hell out of paying $17.50 any day. I grabbed my pack of cigarettes out of my glove box and made my way back to the club, lighting up one on the way back, and smoking another before I went back into the club.I went back to the bar to see Grace sitting my herself looking at the dance floor watching Rachel dance with some random guy. I grabbed my margarita back and drank half of it in one gulp and watched Rachel grind all over the guy to a remix of “Get Your Freak On.”“She's been out there since you left outside, to smoke I'm guessing,” Grace said.“I needed one, talking about these guys really got me worked up and pissed off.”“You really should quit that, you have enough bad. Just as you fretted with your parents so did he,but wasn't allowed to quit, he had to become what you truly wanted to be. Carl, the angry boy, became what you truly want to be a well adjusted,wife and mother. Did you notice that the boy of the family was removedinstead of swapped with Carl's mother? That is you, the part of you thatis disappearing." What about Carl's mother?" "Well she was being a bitch to you, or so youthought so you made her into a bitch herself. But you still love youmother, you identify with her so even though she is a dog. Your love forher is unconditional, no matter how you perceived that she hurt you.John became the girl you always wanted to be. Growing up is scary, butbeing a pretty little girl who can dance and play forever what you want.Everyone wishes that just a little deep down inside.You addictions, smoking, drinking and drugs, you see as childish thingsyou want to grow out of such as sucking on a pacifier, drinking formulafrom a bottle and being.
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