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It was years ago you see, that my humanity was taken from me. I surrendered in a way that seems logical by definition in its demand that I no longer refer to myself, or even think of myself as, a person. Since I am now an object, chattel of limited value, an animal, I think of myself as an it a thing to be used, or not, by my owners or their agents. By the end of this sentence, I will no longer refer to myself as an I, instead it will refer to itself as just what it is, a thing, and use the proper words to do so. Ahhh. What a relief. To write of itself as other than an it, is stressful, reminding it of the way it used to think when it was a person, and the nightmarish pain that it now associates with the struggle it put up in fighting its surrender. You see, it's not that it lives without pain--on the contrary, it lives with pain every moment of its life. Just that it understands now that pain, abuse, degradation, humiliation, torture, punishment, service, and solitude are. "Is this the Taft place?" she asked."It is," I replied."In that case could I come in from the cold?" she asked."If you aren't a bill collector or process server sure," I agreed.She stepped through the door, then took a long look around her. While she did, I took a look at her. She seemed tall at first glance, but that was mostly because she was thin as a rail. If she ever had any hips or breasts, they had withered away. She did have nice silver hair, and a fairly wrinkle free face."Are you Edgar Taft?" she asked. "And do you really live here?" Yes to both questions," I answered guardedly."Frankly, I would have expected more. Do you mind if I have a seat?" she asked motioning to the straight wooden chair by the small table under the window."Not at all, and why would you have expected more?" I asked."I heard you were the sharpest homicide detective ever," she stated skeptically."Not anymore, now I am the most incompetent hunter ever," I replied with a smile."I doubt that, anyone who.
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