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I know that eventually it will lead to falling out of love, losing the spark that once moistened my panties on contact. So I am left with the decision of which is worse? Feeling everything, powerfully, to the point of breaking myself, or feeling absolutely nothing and changing this magnetic love to nothing but piston sex, the parts moving but no real pleasure being found.And I know it will only get worse. The cute date nights turn to awkward silences. Hotel reservations get cancelled. We only say things to each other through texting, not real words in real life. My newest rule is if we can’t say it out loud, then maybe we shouldn’t be saying it. Don’t promise me hugs and discussions and not follow through. Don’t tease me past the point of sexual frustration that turns to bitterness and rage. Flirting and teasing is fun, but what we do is almost to the point of sexual abuse.It’s at this point, that I start wondering if maybe I should be dating more people. Maybe I am not getting what. I had a bunch of guy friends and we used to compare dick sizes. Although we didn't jerk off. Didn't know how.It was early that summer, when Chuck who was 14, told me we could have some fun. Since I was used to comparing dick sizes, I didn't think any thing was out of th ordinary. He took to the apartment house basement. Where he told me to show my dick. His dick was larger than mine and he told me we could do something different. I didn't understand. He told me to bend over. There was a mattress in the basement. He told me to get on all fours. I did what I was told to do. He was older than me. Suddenly, I felt his dick entering my asshole. I didn't know what to do. Then he grasped my dick and started to jerk me while he fucked my ass. While he fucked my ass he pulled on my cock and jerked me off for the first time. I never came before. It was delicious. I was awakened to sexual cumming.I started to jerk off regularly. Chuck told me we wished I was girl. I didn't know that guys fucked.
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