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. (Please attach rest of story... )INTRO #2: I spread apart those well turned legs looking for that divine honey pot that I knew was sure to be there. My practiced eye traveled up one leg until I spotted it. Sure enough, "Miller's Honey Box" was stamped on the side and I knew I had found another antique treasure from the 1920's. The sturdy little piece of furniture had stood quietly in the back of the store... (Please attach rest of story... )INTRO #3: It was a dark and stormy night... (On second thought, skip this one. It's a stupid opening and totally unbelievable anyway.)Which brings me to my last point. We have to stop using dumb openings to these things. Just get the disclaimer out of the way and get on with the action. Our customer satisfaction ratings have slipped from 97% to 95.3% in the latest J.D. Powers survey, and I think our "too clever" openings may have something to do with it.And use a simple disclaimer, like: *Under 18? Go away.* That'd do it. OK, let's get to work.. I'm your boyfriend,check the archives.I checked them for a few minutes, lots of stored messages stretching backyears into the past, recording our relationship from its early beginnings.Thomas, for that was his name, and I soon fell in love and I was excitedwhen he told me he was coming over to see me tonight. When he came to myhouse he ran into my arms, hugged me and kissed my forehead and my lips,and again I felt something was wrong. *Am I...did my head injury turn meinto a lesbian? I feel it should be a girl who I'm kissing. Best not totell him though, he totally loves me.*"I brought a film for us to watch together, it's called The Warriors.Would you like to see it, Princess?" Of course."The film was good at first. It was about a gang who went to a huge meetingof gangs, only to be framed for murder and forced to run and fight theirway home. Along the way they came across a baseball bat wielding gangnamed the Baseball Furies, and it was then that everything changed for me.*.
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