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The office was white and clean and the waiting room was filled with People. The magazine, that is. Along with Sports Illustrated and Woman’s Day and little booklets with cheerful titles like “How To Deal With Your Spondylitic Ankylosis,” and “What To Do About Edematic Praxitelitis” and “Coping With Your Pyloric Chondritis.” None of the magazines was any newer than 2003 and he didn’t want to chance the booklets; his hypochondria was already in high gear.The nurse called him into the examining room, and he waited. Dr. Farren showed up and he groaned inwardly. A woman. He was going to have to tell a woman about this…pain. She was friendly but businesslike. “The nurse tells me you have pain in your groin area,” she said. “If you want a male doctor to examine you, I think we can arrange for that, if you’d be more comfortable?”“N…No!” Derek said. As embarrassing as it was for a woman to look at his…you know…it would be even worse if some guy were to do it. “I think I can cope, um, you. “Most of them. I ended up marrying one: the biggest asshole of them all!”We laughed and refilled our glasses.“There were these twins from Sweden, brother and sister, they were ice dancing partners. They were nineteen and blonds and the whitest people you ever saw. I fucked both of them. Neither one knew what they were doing.”“How old were you then?” I asked.“Oh, twenty-six or seven, something like that.”“I didn’t know you did girls,” I said softly.She looked me dead in the eye. “Sometimes shit happens because it feels right.”There was a silence while we sipped our drinks. Then she chuckled.“What?” I asked.“There was this midget in the show, one of the clowns,” she said, laughing again. “An older guy, in his forties, I guess. Most of the performers were younger but this guy was older and he would skate around doing belly-flops and pratfalls, comic relief between events. And there was this rumor always going around that he had a ten-inch dick!”“And…”“The rumors were true!” she.
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