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The gate slowly opened as the man stopped in front of Ling's door. She rolled her window down and said, "I'm Ling Carter." I know. Talks With Animals and Walks With Wisdom are not home. He said that you were to drive up to the house and someone would take care of you until he arrived," the guard said. Once he had checked out the occupants of the car, he kept his eyes on the road approaching the gate and only occasionally glanced down at Ling while talking."Oh," Ling said with a frown. It wasn't like William to play petty games like this."Just drive on up to the house," the guard said stepping back.Ling noticed there was a second guard who had remained in the guard shack watching them carefully. Frowning, she drove the car up the road towards the house. She asked,"Did you notice the fence along William's property?" Yes. It was rather intimidating," Betsy answered. There was a double row of chain link fence with each row topped by barbed wire. Every fifty feet there were signs warning. I cry for the love I had to give up. I cry for the longing I have in my heart. I cry for the future that holds no joy for me. I cry and I wonder how I can go on feeling this way, lost and alone. I cry, with the knowing that I am lost, confused and alone. Each day I cry. Each day I worry. I worry that I can and will not make it. That I will attempt something irrational. That I will give in and surrender to my sorrow, my pain, my sadness. To take the cowards way out, the easy way out, the wrong way out. To write off a world that can be a beautiful place to be. So I worry and hope it never comes to this. I do not wish to contemplate otherwise. The alternative is not pleasant. The alternative is to not go on at all. Each day I worry. Each day I do it. I do it again and over again. I have to. I try to escape the pain I feel. Try to escape the heaviness, which seems to be crushing in on me. Try to keep on living this life, such that it is, a life that seems to have so little and need so.
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