The last one they got was written six days ago, so I guess she was Ok as of then." Why would she go down to Florida, Jackie, we don't know anyone in Florida?" I don't know Tom. Maybe she just got on a train or bus and that was where it happened to be heading. Ellen doesn't always think things through when she's upset or angry."Jackie, let me know if you find out anything else. Anything at all." Sure Tom, you too Ok?" We hung up after that and I went over to Billy's again. I didn't want to be alone right then. Florida was a long ways away. Too far just to be going somewhere private to think. That was the first moment I started to realize that my marriage might really be ended. While I drove over to the farm, I kept asking myself whether I could have maybe lived with what Ellen was forcing me to do for her. It wasn't like I was suffering from Gloria's attentions. If anybody was suffering it had to have been Ellen. It was her plan though, and she must have thought about how she'd feel. ”“Does it bother you that you and I have already done that?” I asked her gently.“No,” she said. “I don’t regret a single thing we did together. I was actually very relieved that I hadn’t been a virgin that weekend, when I straightened out and could think again.”“How’s that part going?” I asked, taking her hand. We hadn’t talked about her recovery from addiction much, but I knew they must both struggle with it.She hesitated, but nodded. “Some days, I crave pretty hard, but I wrote myself a message for days like that.” She dug out her wallet and pulled a worn card from inside. She unfolded it and passed it to me.I looked at it and read the words, “Matt ordered you to stay clean,” in black marker. I folded the note and pressed it back into her hands, holding them reverently in mine. If I’d ever wondered whether I’d done any good at all, Beck carried that proof in her wallet. I kissed her deeply and held her hands in mine, overcome with a powerful sense of accomplishment. A simple.
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