You might expect Fiona to be protective, or them both to be jealous; but, and call me mister bighead if you like, they both reckoned I was the best guy they knew to take Erica’s maidenhood (as Toni demurely put it). They decorated Fiona’s room with candles (strictly not allowed by college rules), and silk scarves; took the two of us for dinner and then left us at Fee’s door (I was finally allowed that diminutive). Erica was not nervous in the least. She wore me out with her demands for oral, anal, vaginal; missionary, cowboy, 69. We didn’t surface for 24 hours. Fiona had to make up a story on the phone that Erica had eaten something that disagreed with her and couldn’t come to the phone. Again, nearly true, she didn’t like the taste of spunk and was sick. But, overall, when we surfaced, she was very happy. So was I. I had a lover who set me up for a lengthy session with her younger sister!I got a First! I know! Me! I was more surprised than anybody – Tracey sent me a bunch of flowers. The hottest women you’ve ever seen is sitting in front of you.“So what do you think makes you a good assistant?”You’re in your final interview with Kim kardashian herself. You’re sitting in her very living room. You already had made it through interviews with Kim’s manager and agent, and were now one of the finalists in becoming Kim’s lucky assistant. You’ve heard all the stories of her other assistants in the past, who got to incredible things like rub moisturizer on her almost naked body, or stand in her changing room as she tried out bikinis. You could tell she was suspicious about having a male assistant, but in the end, let it slide. You sail your way through the interview, and pray to god you did a good job. Kim looks you in the eye.“I like you. Congrats, you’re the best candidate I’ve seen all day, you’ve got the job.” Kim says. You’re ecstatic. You can’t believe you actually landed the job. You thanks her and she stands up. “You start working now,” she says, “let me show you.
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