And I wanted to tell you in person.” She smiled sadly then and looked at me.“There’s one more secret. When you were a baby, I was in a doctor’s waiting room, I read that Korean mothers usually can get cranky boy babies to sleep by sucking their ... little penis.“I decided to try it with you. It worked! But beyond that, I loved it. Sometimes I did it just because I loved it. You never objected either. (Of course, you couldn’t talk yet, so you could hardly tell me if you did.) You would just giggle when I did it. I was ashamed then, but I’m not now. Back then I forced myself to stop when you were about two. I’m not ashamed to confess it to you now.I have loved you from before you were born and I’ve always wanted you to find your own way. Still, that physical closeness and contact were missed as you grew up. After you left for college was the worst of all. I didn’t have anybody at all then. I wanted you to know now, since I’m going to die.”“MOM! Nobody said you’re going to die, have. "Cheela and I havethings in common, we both respect each other as mothers."I was happy to see that things were working out.There was a quiet tap on the door and I said, "Enter." M, Momma," Petra rushed into her arms. "They gave me this for you lastnight." She held out the little pin of an Honorary Sister."I've seen these pins before, I never knew what they were," it feltstrange seeing a Queen cry.Natira and a few others were there waiting for her in the outer office."Now that you are a Second Sister, there are things that you may nowknow that were kept secret before." Natani leaned forward and whisperedinto her ear."I never would have guessed, but the secret is safe with me." Momma it was amazing. I jumped into the pool with everyone else and itwas like, like, I can't begin to describe how wonderful it felt beingaccepted." You jumped into a pool? But you don't swim." They would not have let me drown, I wasn't the only one who couldn'tswim Momma," said Petra. "But I wasn't afraid, not.
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