I found that the girls were gorgeous and it wasn’t too difficult to chat with them, but the only hitch was that, I was alien to that friendly atmosphere. I ventured into a tarvern for a beer and settled into a chair and ordered for some cold beer Soon the cold beer arrived and I was gulping down the cold beer, the weather being really hot outside, the cold beer was doing wonders to me. I was soon joined by a hefty blonde lady. More to the fact she was fat and busty. She smiled at me from across the table and ordered a drink. I was hesitant to do the talking and was relieved when she broke the ice by mentioning about the hot weather and the conversation began. She told me that she was from Scandinavia and was visiting Goa alone and for the first time, she had hired a small villa and she will be in Goa for a couple of weeks. It transpired that she was 26, seperated and owned a business interest in Copenhagen. I explained my predicament that am not able to find any good and decent. To putit into the simplest terms, I have a female brain and a male body.Looking back, there were signs early that I was not like other boys. I canrecall taking an action figure and stealing Barbie clothes fromneighboring girls to dress him in. Sadly, about the time when I might havereally been able to start sorting me out, I was exposed to a rapist, andspent two years in Hell.Part of what happened to me was he justified his attacks on me because ofmy feminine side. He made me so afraid of my desire to be female that iburied it until I was approaching puberty. Then the sense of wrongness,the horrible feeling that somehow, I was going in the wrong directionbecame overwhelming. But I kept it hidden as best as I could.Then I became a Christian. This made my conflict even stronger, as I wasinducted into a conservative branch of the faith, and felt sure that myneed for the feminine was a sin. This lead to a cycle of "binging" -getting girl clothes and trying to be as female as I could,.
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