”“What is he gonna do, make us write ‘I must not slap the Pope’ a thousand times? Excommunicate me? I’m not even a member! Do you know what, I’ll tell him I’m a Palestinian. He’ll forget all about me instantly.”“We can still hear you,” said Vincenzo. “In fact, we can hear you even better.”George ... I mean Pope Francis, sat in a chair in the middle of the kitchen. Novice Sister Rebecca The Liar stood behind him, trying to look pious, and Vatican Ninja Father Vincenzo seemed to play the role of usher.“His Holiness has something to tell you,” he announced. I happened to glance at a clock mounted on the wall behind him. Time to put in the pasta!“Can it wait ten seconds? I got eighty litres of minestrone on the go and eighty buns in the oven.”But George ... Francis held up his hand.“I am sure it can wait one minute,” he said, through Father Vincenzo. “Martin, it was not my intention to deceive you for so long. I admit we were having a little fun with you, but I thought you’d notice it. One day however, as you are tilling the fields, you dig up a dusty tome, brimming with ancient and powerful magic! You run inside onto your bed and sit cross-legged, covering your entire body with your blanket as you open the book with giddy. What powers lie in this book you wonder? And how can you use it to get laid…[Enjoy the story and hungry for more? I've created a Patreon! All of my content is public, but if you're in a particularly giving mood, head over to: https://www.patreon.com/swallows999][What do you look like?: The character is not described in great detail on purpose. He is you, the reader! He is as strong and burly or emaciated and weak as yourself. Of course, when I say "you", I can't stop you from imagining a different person, so go ahead and take your pick of appearance. The reason why I did this was because too many times I've been told that I'm some 6'8" white beefcake (I would not eat that) with an 18" penis (now I really would not eat that). In this story, you.
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