I went to Mike'sapartment the next day and asked to talk to him. I admitted to him that Isnooped around in his external hard drive and found all his naughtystuff, and assured him it would be our secret. Mike admitted that sincehe was 11 years old (he is 41 now), he has had urges to dress in women'sthings. Makeup caused him to get extremely aroused. He does not knowwhere these urges came from, and though he may have not chosen to beendowed with these urges, he has decided that it is his choice whether heacts on those urges. He choses not to act on these urges. The stuff onthe hard drive are outlets for these urges.I asked him why he would deny himself like that??? He said he would bedenying himself many other things if he engaged in the crossdressingculture. He also told me that he would make an ugly looking womananyways. I pull out my makeup brush and tell him, you'd make a finelooking lady baby, let me show. Mike was transifxed on my makeup brush.He started breathing hard and. That’s doesn’t mean I didn’t sleep with them – or at least some of them – but either they or I knew that the relationship wasn’t going any further. I did not want to be a marriage-breaker; however good-looking and good in bed they might have been, they were not for me.That didn’t mean I didn’t have a lot of fun on my quest. The notches on my metaphorical bedpost increased considerably during that time but I knew that casual encounters with a series of strangers wasn’t what I wanted or needed in the longer term.Then I found Chris. He was different from the start.Nearly twice my age, also married and with two children at Uni, I almost didn’t bother replying to his prompt but I’m so glad I did. Quietly confident rather than brash; soft-spoken and attentive, relaxed and unpressurised, his manner even on-line was seductive and reassuring.It took surprisingly few online chats before we spoke on the phone, and only one phone call before we agreed to meet for coffee. Having had so many.
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