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Why did the turtle cross the road?To get to the Shell stationA man bought his wife a bra for a present, and gave it to her on Memorial Day.She asked, “Why for Memorial Day?”He replied, “It’s in memory of the fallen.”An Eskimo goes to a sexologist and says, “Doctor, my wife is willing to have sex with me only three times a night”.“Three times a night”, exclaims the doctor. “That’s fantastic”!“Well.” Says the Eskimo. “The night here lasts for six months”.In the words of Lou Holtz:Life doesn’t have to be complicated. There are seven colors of the rainbow, and see what Michelangelo did with those seven colors. There are seven notes, and see what Beethoven did with those seven notes. There are ten numbers, and see what Bernie Madoff did with those ten numbers.There’s a hospital in San Francisco that specializes in transplants. So some people who have had transplants can honestly say, I left my heart in San Francisco.A computer programmer put two glasses on his night table before going to. It seems that where they were from, if a girl hit fourteen and wasn't married, her folks began to get worried. Most girls ended up with men at least twice their age, and the most of them weren't too happy about it.Sensing a way out, Will said "You're seventeen and I'm thirty-four. That would make me twice your age, too. Wouldn't you rather have a younger man? I wouldn't want you to be unhappy."That seemed to piss her off."You are young man, still. We will have many years together. This I know. I would be very happy as your wife, but not unless you want me also. If you do not, then say so! I will leave, and bother you no more!"Will sealed his fate completely then. "Gia, there is no man in his right mind that wouldn't want you. You're beautiful, that's a fact. More than that though, I think you're cut out to make it around here. From what I've seen, you're everything a man could want in a woman."She flashed that smile again."Then you will have me?"Truth be told, he'd liken to have her,.
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